Thank God our internet isn’t the most reliable because a few
weeks ago, in a purely emotional state, I turned on my computer with the mindset
to delete my entire blog. I was feeling
defeated, insecure, and wavering in my beliefs.
That’s how rough the week had been.
It’s very difficult when you decide to use a treatment like biomedical,
which is controversial, not understood, and foreign to the general
population. It’s even more difficult
when even amongst the autistic community, the one you belong to because your
child doesn’t “belong” to the typical community, isn’t supportive,
understanding, or encouraging with your course of treatment. It becomes overwhelming when all you’re trying
to do it help your child and you’re seen as harming, non-accepting, and
downright insulting those in the autistic community who believe there is
nothing to “fix”.
I think we should all encourage each other with whatever
route we choose to take. All we are all
trying to do for our children is to help them achieve their fullest
potential. None of us would ever do something
knowingly to harm our child. I believe
it’s so important to remain open minded when it comes to all different types of
treatments for our kids. I do want to “fix” things that limit him
because of autism. I don’t want to “fix” his sense of humor,
his silliness, his outgoing lovable self, his love for electronics and comic
books, his deep emotional connection with everyone around him. I don’t think that by taking away behaviors
such as pacing, walking in circles, vocal ticks, inability to focus his
attention, hand flapping, food sensitivity, smell sensitivity that I will be
altering who he is. These are issues
that limit who he is. Maybe our route of treatment will work, maybe
it won’t, but I need to try.
Since beginning our journey in biomedical treatment a little
under a year ago, this is the 1st time that I have felt doubt and
questioned its validity. Things have not
been progressing as they did in the beginning and we’ve hit a wall, so to speak. I’ve cried, I’ve prayed, and I’ve considered
giving up, but in the end I reminded myself the wise words of his doctor. “This is not a sprint…it’s a marathon”. If I don’t stick with it and finish what we
started, I’ll never know if it was really the answer and if it would have
worked. So, I’m sticking with it. I’m giving it a chance to heal that which
needs healing.
I’m continuing with the supplements his body needs to support
his system and repair damage done, we’ve started hyperbaric treatment (I’ll
write a post about that soon), we continue on a very strict gluten/casein free
diet, I’m still trying to reduce his carb and sugar intake (to control yeast)
and increase his protein and vegetable intake, and I’m also learning more about
using essential oils. We’re back in
occupational therapy after a few months off (insurance change) and I’m hoping
to begin seeing those positive changes we initially saw when starting OT
soon.
