Our Story

...it's just a speech delay....boys speak later than girls...it's the dual language environment...he's a little hyper, but so was I at his age...these people are so judgemental...he's 3!  

These were the stories I told myself in the beginning.  These were the stories I told others. But then it all changed when a child psychologist, who was suppose to confirm all of my stories and finally prove all these other people wrong, told me...it's autism.  She knew within minutes what I had failed to see for years.

That was the beginning.  The beginning of our journey, roller coaster ride,my leap into an alternative/ chemical free/ gluten free/ casein free/  life.  In the beginning it was a wild ride with so many twists & turns I was dizzy trying to find my bearings.  It's funny to think that it was only a little over a year ago.  It seems so much longer.  It feels like its taken me years to figure out what I now know, which is minuscule to what there is to know, but monumental compared what I knew 5 1/2 years ago when my precious baby was born.

 I've avoided the what ifs and should've -could've- would'ves due to my tremendous power of repression, but every once in a while I let it slip to the surface.  I entertain the questions for the briefest of moments...and I think...what will I tell him when he's grown?  He might have been a "normal" child had XYZ not happened.  What is XYZ? I'm not sure, but I don't want to tell him that.  It's like he was on the edge of becoming who he was meant to be, but some small unforeseen deviation changed the course of who he would become.  

This is our journey...this is my fight...a fight I will not give up on!  It's my fight to RECOVER my son from autism.  We will defeat it! He will be recovered and it will be a story I tell him when he is older of the journey we took together.  I don't think there is anything wrong with who he is now, but I know he can overcome the limitations and obstacles that autism has put in his path.  He seems to be teetering between two worlds...the world of typical kids his age and the world of autism.  I want him to become the person that God intended him to be, and I know, that through  God's guidance this will happen.